A Journey in Self-Reflection for the Leaders of Today and Tomorrow

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”

— Maya Angelou

CAF Ethos: Trusted to Serve (TTS) is the keystone document outlining our ethical principles, military values, and professional expectations. The follow-on step of developing the key dimensions of character mentioned in TTS is an important step in the path to creating better leaders. But what if there is one more piece missing? There is an argument to be made that you cannot develop character dimensions without members first having the prerequisite self-awareness to see their character gaps. Like many others with training and educational backgrounds, this author posits that an inability to conduct self-reflection will significantly inhibit self-awareness and the development of character. This article will provide options to explore the use of self-reflection as but one very important element in achieving self-awareness, so that the development of character competencies will become achievable.

A journey of self-discovery and improvement is one that is very personal, and each one of us finds our path through feedback, healing, and social groups. The pathway laid out below is my own. It was a journey of self-finding, self-reflection, and self-improvement with the assistance of health professionals, a strong support network, and resiliency skills. Although this pathway may not be for everyone, my hope is that through sharing, some of the ideas presented here will apply more broadly to others and enable them to do what it takes to become better military professionals and reap similar benefits in their personal lives.

This process of self-discovery and self-improvement is not quick. It is a deliberate choice and commitment to continue working on the skills every day, and to continue to read and understand more about the world around us. This article was a labour of love with months of research, courage building, and a multiplicity of edits to ensure that it told the story clearly and correctly.

To be a better leader, person, and military member takes considerable professional dedication to one’s professional ideology (ethos and expertise) and personal discipline to continue evolving with or ahead of the changing world around us, and to adapting to the new norms that are presented almost daily.

How did we get here?

Following the release of the Deschamps and Arbour reports, and a spate of related allegations in the media in 2021 linked to some very senior leaders in the military, the Canadian Armed Forces (CAF) has found itself needing to catch up to the rest of society and incorporate shifts in their approach to leadership and cultivating leaders attuned to the demands of tomorrow.

Enrollment in the military pushes members to adopt additional values and accept unlimited liability for King and country but fails to show us how to embrace personal initiative to continue improving and adapting. What our professional development system does well is train us to embark on the path of personal and professional competency in our selected vocations.

Similarly, our annual evaluation system was performance and outcome driven for many years with concomitant results: an emphasis on performance and outcomes. A recent shift to character competencies for performance evaluation is proving challenging to adopt. When I joined the military, I thought it was going to be an objective, merit-based system where my gender and background would not factor into performance calculus, and I could excel based on my observed performance alone. Decades of experience with this merit-based system has proven the opposite. My experience has shown that time in rank and who knew you would move promotion files faster than merit and performance, unless board members were acutely aware of this inherent bias in the process and had the courage to speak out about it. Recent publications such as Markovits’ The Meritocracy Trap, and Sandel’s The Tyranny of Merit unpack the complexities as to why no true meritocracy exists for long when humans are involved.

Despite this, beginning in October 2021, the Canadian Armed Forces (CAF) took initial steps to introduce new rigour and science to its promotion-selection process. The aim is to strengthen the CAF’s ability in identifying the best leaders for the right positions, while ensuring that those selected truly embody the CAF ethos. The first step was to introduce evidence-based assessments of character for promotion to and within the General Officer/Flag Officer cadre. A key component is the use of a multi-rater (e.g., 360) assessment for confirmatory purposes (e.g., to highlight “red flags”), akin to a reference check. Feedback is collected from multiple diverse evaluators to obtain a holistic perspective of the prospective candidate’s leadership behaviours and effectiveness. Appreciating the value of self-awareness, these insights are shared with the candidate, who is debriefed by senior leadership. This is critical, as Tascha Eurich has revealed that both experience and power may hinder self-awareness. Similarly, self-reflection is limited without the external self-awareness to see feedback from an outside perspective and the internal self-awareness to use it for personal improvement. The relationship between self-reflection, constructive feedback, and self-awareness creates an iterative and developmental loop that can strengthen all three.

The new performance appraisal system of competencies provides a reset opportunity to produce the leaders for tomorrow with the strong character and competence necessary to lead increasingly diverse teams. This reset merit-based system is still in its infancy and awaits both qualitative and quantitative feedback to inform future iterations.

The advent of TTS and now Fighting Spirit: The Profession of Arms in Canada (FS) has provided us with the framework for what is important to the CAF moving forward, and the expected behaviours needed to bring us to the desired future where sound judgment and equanimity will be at the forefront of our leader’s character traits. This is not to say that leaders can’t have emotional reactions, but that they must have the temperance to be able to regulate their emotions and not allow them to cloud their judgment when considering significant decisions, such as those related to military strategy or operational campaigns.

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness.”

An insightful person once said this. Being aware of how our responses affect others will be critical in helping leaders to self-regulate their emotions in such a liminal space, so that they may grow in strength of character. And to grow in strength of character, one needs self-awareness and self-reflection. The cultivation of self-awareness is an experiential journey that requires dedication and self-discipline. The opportunity presented by TTS and FS will provide the environment for leaders to embrace and cultivate the expected character competencies, and leaders may even be surprised to better connect with their humanity in the process.

So, why do we need self-aware leaders? Looking at it from a double loop learning perspective, I challenge why we are trying to “train” behaviour. Militaries need self-aware leaders for their ability to understand the changing human atmospherics at tactical, operational, and strategic levels and their impact and influence on current events. The power of self-reflection through some avenues discussed here will allow members to hone their skills for the self-awareness they must have to cultivate the correct leadership behaviours necessary for success.

Northouse refers to self-awareness under the heading of Authentic Leadership as, “… a process in which individuals understand themselves, including their strengths and weaknesses, and the impact they have on others.” The better a person (leader) understands themselves, the greater aptitude they will have to understand others and concurrently support follower growth. Although this characteristic does not operate in isolation to create authentic leaders, the value proposition offered is one that can be applied towards self-reflection.

Critical thinking skills are a fundamental requirement of effective self-reflection. Developing these skills is achieved through curiosity. Brené Brown cites George Loewenstein’s information gap perspective on curiosity and argues we need to have “… some level of knowledge or awareness before we can get curious…” about the gaps in knowledge. Knowledge exploration is encouraged at CAF education institutions, but it is not necessarily cultivated in the workplace to sustain continued learning. As one of my Base Chief Warrant Officers used to say, “A revolutionary spark does not necessarily lead to evolutionary will. Persistence is vital!”

There are many new publications out on leadership which focus on how to lead better. However, few address the need for individuals to have the personal curiosity and commitment with which to improve their reflection and awareness skills. Marilyn Gist has many good self-reflection tools in the medium of questionnaires and questions to promote personal reflection. Her focus on unpacking humility as a key approach to leadership and how followers look to their leader to offer feedback for leader development provides an excellent starting point.

Crossan, Seijts, and Gandz contribute to the discussion on character. As with much research in this area, they confirm that much like intelligence quotients, strength of character can be intentionally developed. Character is defined as the values, virtues, and individual traits that are internalized, believed, and lived as a way of being. The leader character model is composed of the eleven dimensions of character, namely: Temperance, Integrity, Courage, Drive, Collaboration, Transcendence, Humanity, Humility, Justice, and Accountability, with Judgment rightfully at the centre of the model. Crossan et al. indicate that these character dimensions can be improved and grow with awareness through reflection.

There are several components to reflection that are important. For me, they are understanding how and where my body keeps and stores stress, understanding the fears, shame, and emotions of why I hold that stress, and having a close advisor to discuss difficulties in understanding. Understanding the physical reactions within ourselves provides a window to understand the mental blocks and obstacles that need to be overcome to rebalance mental and physical equilibrium. This heightened sense of self-awareness is available through meditation, physical exercise, and human interaction. These techniques and skills allow my subconscious to continue functioning and letting ideas, thoughts, and emotions surface for further exploration with intention. This personal method closely aligns with what several social science researchers have discovered as it relates to human thriving, as well as the knowledge, the skills, the abilities, and the help needed from others to unlock it. However, one of the most powerful barriers to this process is shame.

“Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.”

“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.”

— Brené Brown

The volumes of work on shame that have been researched and documented by Brené Brown show us that shame prevents us from giving voice to things that we don’t do well or don’t know how to do. If we share our stories with one another in a trusted relationship to start exploring the self-reflection process, then we can grow through feedback, reflection, and action. The research on how to conduct self-reflection is limited, but many theories exist across several disciplines. For example, the traditional pure sciences provide frameworks to look at the scientific method, and the social sciences use concepts to discuss the use of self-reflection, but as with many academic papers, the concrete support of “how” is missing. A common theme is to begin by examining a difficult situation. This involves writing down or discussing with another person all the components of what went right, what went wrong, and the emotional ties of everyone involved in the situation. Then place yourself in that situation to see how it all fits and relates to one another. This must be done with someone who is open and honest and who will not allow you to be overly critical of yourself, but who will also hold you accountable for your actions in that difficult situation. First coined by Bismark in 1878, the use of honest brokers around you is critical, as made famous in the children’s story of the Emperor’s New Clothes. The social component of exploring shame with another person in this process is the key.

When we were all surviving the seemingly never-ending COVID restrictions, our social circles became constricted. As we have resumed the tempo post-COVID, with the inherent demands and information overload from the workplace, many have found themselves overwhelmed. This result is supported by the increase in people seeking support from mental health providers all over the country. What is really needed is time to slow down and the mindfulness to connect again.

“Note that this journey is uniquely yours, no one else’s. So the path has to be your own. You cannot imitate somebody else’s journey and still be true to yourself. Are you prepared to honor your uniqueness in this way?”

— Jon Kabat-Zinn

Jon Kabat-Zinn is a renowned expert on mindfulness who has worked with many people on the power of meditation and the practice of mindfulness to become more intentional in our use of time and our presence with those with whom we interact. His empirical research has proven the benefit of mindfulness in helping post-traumatic stress disorder and depression patients recover parts of their lives and some of the control that they thought they had lost.

While I was stationed at CFB Borden, I found the mindfulness pilot program, which was run in 2015 by CAF physician Captain Amy Alexander, MD, MHSc, an invaluable resource in my pathway to healing that would have been otherwise inaccessible. My more recent discovery with my meditation practice has shown me that there is power in slowing down to meditate with intention, so that one can reflect on the concerns of the day and allow the thoughts of the day to be noticed and accepted without ruling over one’s waking thoughts. This method of self-reflection is deeply personal, but it can allow you to notice the feelings and physical manifestations of emotion within your body, so that you can realize what they are and where they are coming from, and so that they can be noticed for further insight and inner work.

In his book Mindfulness for Beginners Kabat-Zinn states, “… [a]wareness is a capacity that we are all intimately familiar with and yet are simultaneously complete strangers to.” This mindfulness practice, like many others, takes time and repetition for one to become proficient. It can be viewed as a cornerstone to awareness in a way that will promote better active listening skills, allow leaders to notice when there are changes in mood and atmosphere within their team, and increase work focus and productivity.

When our minds are racing with all the thoughts and emotions related to home, work, children, dinner, or how to get to all the places and meetings on time during the day, it is difficult to concentrate on the now. Maintaining a schedule and a routine that allows time to process one’s thoughts between activities will promote a calmer approach to each activity and allow a fuller engagement in each activity. The old saying, “You need to stop and smell the roses,” is fitting here. It is telling you to slow down and take notice of what is truly around you, and then notice your thoughts, feelings, and emotions tied to what you have noticed, but without any judgment—an act of self-compassion.

“Unlike self-criticism, which asks if you’re good enough, self-compassion asks, what’s good for you?”

— Kristin Neff

“Self-compassion springs from the heart of mindfulness during moments of suffering.” Each of us has two inner voices on our shoulders, like Jiminy Cricket, one that provides us with kind and helpful thoughts and one that provides us with unfiltered harsh criticism. In cartoons, these voices commonly manifest as an angel and a devil. On any given day, our harsh inner critic is usually the voice that overpowers the kinder, softer voice and can distort how we see and how we perceive ourselves (inner self-awareness). This skewed view of self-awareness can derail our ability to move forward and succeed in the challenges that continually face us. This is self-awareness with judgment instead of from a place of self-compassion and curiosity.

Kristin Neff and Christopher Gerner’s research builds mindful self-compassion based on three elements: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. Self-kindness is listening to the angel on your shoulder and not the devil. Common humanity, “… is recognizing that all humans are flawed works-in-progress, that everyone fails, makes mistakes, and experience hardship in life…” Mindfulness was discussed in the previous section but is defined here as the “… need to be able to turn toward and acknowledge when we’re suffering, to ‘be’ with our pain long enough to respond with care and kindness…”

Everything in the world presents itself to you in the time and space in which you need it—should you notice it. I was introduced to mindful self-compassion a few years after learning about mindfulness in general and beginning my longstanding relationship with it. The impact of identifying, naming, and quieting my inner critic was a whole new obstacle. The requirement to be self-aware and not too critical when there were missteps required humility and humanity to remember that we all make mistakes, we all have successes, and each of these needs to be noticed for what it is, without judgment on who we are.

The collection of meditations, both formal and informal, created by Neff and Gerner are an excellent way to notice and provide attention to places within yourself that need time and attention to heal or grow. Although Neff and Gerner’s meditations are more advanced than basic mindfulness meditations, they are incredibly useful to promote further self-awareness through self-reflection.

“Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?”

— Marcus Aurelius

Self-reflection and self-awareness are intertwined. The former facilitates the development of the latter, so that a holistic discovery of strengths and weaknesses to be harnessed and addressed in relation to leadership approaches. Although this can be partially achieved through personal insights and self-talk, what truly unleashes the transformative power of self-reflection is the feedback from multiple honest brokers in your life. Crossan et al. discuss self-reflection from two perspectives: reflection on action and reflection in action. The former is conducted after the action, in slow time, while the latter is an example of Viktor Frankl’s liminal space where processing is completed in real time, between stimulus and response. For leaders, this reflection is critical in addressing the four major questions which help them to change: “Who am I? … Who am I becoming? … What do I want to be? … What am I going to do to become what I want to be? …”

These questions are a great starting point, but there is increased power in them when the answers are written down and spoken aloud with others, such as one’s honest brokers. Writing provides a couple of advantages over thought. The first is that the thoughts will be complete and available to review later, to monitor the progress of growth, and to evaluate whether the goals and perceptions that have been articulated at one point in time continue to hold true. The second is that memories fade and the thoughts that are clear today may be clouded in the coming days and weeks. Writing provides a snapshot in time of your thoughts without hindsight filters. One facet that I have found helpful is to write myself a letter as though I am writing to a friend about the same concerns. It is easier to be compassionate towards others than towards yourself, and this is a way to provide distance and clarity for a variety of situations.

Speaking aloud with others, especially giving the answer to “What am I going to do to become what I want to be?” makes you accountable to others for your progress and your goals, ensuring that they are realistic and achievable. Starting a conversation with another person will promote the analysis of fact and fiction. Your honest broker will celebrate your successes and hold you accountable for your missteps in a way that is both empathetic and compassionate while you find your self-compassion. Several close colleagues and family members have supported me in this process. The humility required to tell the whole story and not keep the shameful or poor performance parts out is important. This process also takes practice to notice all the nuances of emotion and fear that instinctively try to filter the truth.

“Talents are best nurtured in solitude. Character is best formed in the stormy billows of the world.”

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Conclusion

I can appreciate that most of this sounds either scary, raw, or unachievable, but Brené Brown reminds us that vulnerability requires courage, and to grow we must have both, as well as the belief that we can grow in these areas. Leadership is worth the energy, our troops are worth the energy, and our future successes as an organization are worth the energy.

While my particular path has been cultivated over years, it remains a continuous journey as tomorrow never really comes. Find your courage to speak, embrace your vulnerability as you work towards a better version of you, and remember you are not alone—we are all in this together. It takes a team to feed self-reflection so that self-awareness may develop, so that we might grow in strength of character to fulfill our human potential.

Character development is achievable through many avenues. The options presented here are but one path to discovery and improvement to become self-aware for the purpose of growth. The self-reflection practices and processes articulated here will likely improve over time with continued research, but we all need to start somewhere. The sailors, soldiers, aviators, and special operations forces of today are our leaders of tomorrow. Setting them up for success early will create a strong resilient force that will be prepared for any challenge.